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Starting in November, out of all months.

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Monday, November 2 This kind of feeling that returns every now and then. Today was like any other Monday, with no special occassions, just unfinished works and deadlines waiting for me ahead. What made today a bit different, was, this wave of indescribable feeling. It was a familiar feeling when waking up felt heavier than usual, when I keep questioning my nervous system what’s wrong, and when it felt like a squeeze to the gut. But despite all those discomforts, I still had to drag my feet to work, showed up in time and gave my best to the children I teach. While I didn’t have time to figure out what’s wrong with me today, the best I could do was to write this. With the hope that putting it into words might ravel my untangled thoughts. Now my mind wandered around what might be the reason behind this heavy feeling. There were a lot of guesses running through my head, was it because I consumed too much media and information? Since these days the situation in my country was full of ‘storm...
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Understanding 'Human Acts' by Han Kang: A Personal Reflection

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I will open this piece of writing by answering the questions I posed to myself 'Did you like the book?' Absolutely, I love this book. 'Why?' There will be, perhaps, long words to explain why this book is such a page-turner for me. Dividing my ideas into three parts, I found these sharp sentences that hit hard and wouldn't leave me even after I finished reading this book. Here is the exploration on how I think of the specific sentence had stirred such strong emotions within me. '... South Korean citizens recognized a dictator when they saw one.' When I first read this line, I couldn't help but screamed inside, while thinking about my own nation. This book is one of the literatures that addresses the issue of Gwangju Uprising, happened in May 1980. It began when university students held demonstration against martial law. The unarmed students and citizens then met with the brutality by the soldiers resulting a great massacre as the dark past of the nation. ...
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The Poppy War (Book One) by R.F. Kuang: A Book Review

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Gambar
The main reason why I picked up this book was because I fell in love with Babel, so I thought "This year is going to be my time to read other R.F. Kuang's works". I was also delighted by the fact that my school library had the complete trilogy of this book, and here I go, finished the book on March 29th after three months drowning into the story. I wasn't a fan of fantasy novel at first, until I found that Kuang's works (Babel and The Poppy War) combined historical fiction and fantasy, I could say that I have a new favorite genre and a new favorite author as well.  This book told us a story about a Tikany girl named Fang Runin, or Rin. One thing that I love about this books was how intense the main character's effort in achieving everything she wanted in life. At first, she studied really really hard to get into a prestigious military school, Sinegard. Even though it was a merit-based school, normally, only children from powerful families could afford studying...
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Between the ones left, Robin Swift and Victoire Desgraves (Babel by R. F. Kuang)

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One could imagine how fresh the wound they had to carry around during their fight for the revolution. The different type of wound, Victoire with her strong faith that she would crawl out this darkness, and Robin, who chose the shortest way he always dreamed of after he lost his everything. Everything meant, his fake comfortable life in Oxford, his Hermes Society group of friends, his half long lost brother -Griffin, and his Ramy, his Ramiz Rafi Mirza. Robin Swift and Victoire Desgraves, who would've thought there were just two of them left. After all those warm summers and those melting lemon biscuits in winters. Despite their contrast view and decision, they only had each other to hold on to.  "I want to live," she repeated, "and live, and thrive, and survive them. I want a future. I don't think death is a reprieve. I think it's - it's just the end. It forecloses everything - a future where I might be happy, and free. And it's not about being brave. ...
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The Kite Runner - My Personal Notes

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His saying that made me kind of sad. Sad for who Hassan was, where he lived. For how he'd accepted the fact that he'd grow old in that mud shack in the yard, the way his father had. Reading this book really grew such big empathy inside my heart for Hassan. A kid who lived under many shadows, a servant's child, a Hazara (the most discriminated, oppressed ethnic minority group in Afghanistan), and he himself seemed to dedicate his life for Amir, the main character of the story. This is my second time reading Khaled Hosseini's works, and his writing never fails to amaze me. I got so immersed in the story, most of the time it sparked my curiosity on what's exactly happening in Afghanistan, even though, no matter how hard I try, I still find it ridiculous how hatred towards minority group were forced and cultivated among the people since such young age. My first pages of the book deepened the information around Hassan and Amir's childhood. Not until the biggest event...
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Moving to a new city, Building my own life #2

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Figuring things out, let me write it down to leave some evidences of me suffering haha. Finished my first month, I still often cry. The bitter feelings that, I have officially left my parents' house, that I have officially decided to build my own life. Will I do it right? Why does my chest often feel heavy? Will it all be worth to try? Leaving my parents, my friends and all the comfortable lives I had in my hometown. What exactly do I chase here? People say it's the matter of time, and I do agree with that. It may take months or even years just to realize! My first month living alone proves how time does really cure everything. My worries, my fears, my heavy feelings, slowly but surely get better over time. It's still heavy to wake up every morning, without seeing my mom, my dad or my siblings, but as the time goes by, the heaviness gets lighter little by little. Make plans and schedule even for the weekend does help me navigating this lonely life. Every weekend, the loneli...
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Moving to a new city, Building my own life

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In this half of 2025 I decided to make a big move by moving to a new city, alone. I thought it would be quite easy, as I have done it before. But my guess was wrong , it's still difficult as well as confusing as my first time doing it. There are things I regret (but in my defense, it's inevitable ) doing. 1. How I left my first work and its people. It was a sudden opportunity and I couldn't see myself rejecting this chance, I was afraid this kind of opportunity won't come twice, so I chose to take my shot . It felt heavy to leave, as this was my first formal job, but I was still thankful that a lot of my colleagues supported me by saying kind words like "you're still young, go chase other experiences." If one of them happen to read this writing, I just want you to know how glad I am to have experiences working with you. <3  2. I had to decide it fast, I didn't have time to say goodbye to anyone . Except for the people I worked close with, I didn...
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