Moving to a new city, Building my own life #2

Figuring things out, let me write it down to leave some evidences of me suffering haha.

  • Finished my first month, I still often cry. The bitter feelings that, I have officially left my parents' house, that I have officially decided to build my own life. Will I do it right? Why does my chest often feel heavy? Will it all be worth to try? Leaving my parents, my friends and all the comfortable lives I had in my hometown. What exactly do I chase here?
  • People say it's the matter of time, and I do agree with that. It may take months or even years just to realize! My first month living alone proves how time does really cure everything. My worries, my fears, my heavy feelings, slowly but surely get better over time. It's still heavy to wake up every morning, without seeing my mom, my dad or my siblings, but as the time goes by, the heaviness gets lighter little by little.
  • Make plans and schedule even for the weekend does help me navigating this lonely life. Every weekend, the loneliness feels like it can eat me alive! So I need to make sure I know what I am going to do. Like going to my aunt's house in Bintaro, or having a short trip with new friends to Jakarta.
  • Be kind to yourself yet still, be disciplined. Idk what I'm writing wkw. 

 

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

The Kite Runner - My Personal Notes

His saying that made me kind of sad. Sad for who Hassan was, where he lived. For how he'd accepted the fact that he'd grow old in that mud shack in the yard, the way his father had. Reading this book really grew such big empathy inside my heart for Hassan. A kid who lived under many shadows, a servant's child, a Hazara (the most discriminated, oppressed ethnic minority group in Afghanistan), and he himself seemed to dedicate his life for Amir, the main character of the story. This is my second time reading Khaled Hosseini's works, and his writing never fails to amaze me. I got so immersed in the story, most of the time it sparked my curiosity on what's exactly happening in Afghanistan, even though, no matter how hard I try, I still find it ridiculous how hatred towards minority group were forced and cultivated among the people since such young age. My first pages of the book deepened the information around Hassan and Amir's childhood. Not until the biggest event...
Baca selengkapnya

Moving to a new city, Building my own life

In this half of 2025 I decided to make a big move by moving to a new city, alone. I thought it would be quite easy, as I have done it before. But my guess was wrong , it's still difficult as well as confusing as my first time doing it. There are things I regret (but in my defense, it's inevitable ) doing. 1. How I left my first work and its people. It was a sudden opportunity and I couldn't see myself rejecting this chance, I was afraid this kind of opportunity won't come twice, so I chose to take my shot . It felt heavy to leave, as this was my first formal job, but I was still thankful that a lot of my colleagues supported me by saying kind words like "you're still young, go chase other experiences." If one of them happen to read this writing, I just want you to know how glad I am to have experiences working with you. <3  2. I had to decide it fast, I didn't have time to say goodbye to anyone . Except for the people I worked close with, I didn...
Baca selengkapnya

Orange and her

Gambar
  I forgot when was the last time we talked to each other. I wonder what kind of conversation we had for the very last time. The only scene that still hangs around my mind was the time when I slept on a braided-plastic carpet in her living room. Her living room was not that big, but they took out the table and chairs so it felt bigger that I slept alone there, oh maybe not alone, with her. People were busy inside and outside the house, walking back and forth, while I was laying down, some of them sometimes passed around me. The neighbors, I believed, were still awake, even when the clock showed it was past eleven p.m. This evening, after I heard the sound of adzan Isya, people got even busier.   My dad looked sad, but he kept moving. He checked the sound system that played the Quran recital, people in the kitchen, people who sat in plastic chairs in front of the house. As for my mom, she took me home before coming back here again this evening. It is still here until no...
Baca selengkapnya