Moving to a new city, Building my own life

In this half of 2025 I decided to make a big move by moving to a new city, alone. I thought it would be quite easy, as I have done it before. But my guess was wrong, it's still difficult as well as confusing as my first time doing it.

There are things I regret (but in my defense, it's inevitable) doing.

1. How I left my first work and its people. It was a sudden opportunity and I couldn't see myself rejecting this chance, I was afraid this kind of opportunity won't come twice, so I chose to take my shot. It felt heavy to leave, as this was my first formal job, but I was still thankful that a lot of my colleagues supported me by saying kind words like "you're still young, go chase other experiences." If one of them happen to read this writing, I just want you to know how glad I am to have experiences working with you. <3 

2. I had to decide it fast, I didn't have time to say goodbye to anyone. Except for the people I worked close with, I didn't have the time to tell them, not even through phone. I didn't have any days off and I had to move so quickly. After my rush days finding a place for me to live, I had to go to work earlier than other people. The day after I sent my parents to the bus station to go home, and I felt like I was ready to live on my own, I was finally able to contact my friends, one by one, tell them that I have been officially living in this new city, they wished me a good luck, and I do hope all the luck we wish, will always follow us anywhere.

As I mentioned before, this is not my first time living far from my family, but this is my very first time living alone. Back in 2022, I lived with a roommate, even though that was difficult emotionally, I managed to survive with the support from my roommates and my other friends. Now looking back at those days, it still feels surreal that now I really have to do it all alone. I reach out a lot of friends who also live alone, ask them some tips, and also read a lot of articles. Maybe I need to summarize what I got from my self mini research about how to do when you live alone.

1. Make friends 

Based on what I have read, a lot of articles suggest that we need to make friends because the hardest battle that we will face is loneliness. I kind of agree with that statement since when we live alone, we have no one to talk to in real life. It is quite important to make friends here but at the same time, for me it becomes another battle that I need to face, because I personally don't really like to talk to new people :). But thank God so far, I have met several new people here and we do have a lot of nice conversation. But building a relationship called friendship is a different game.  This is only less than one month I am here so I don't think I need to pressure myself to make such certain relationship. For me, I think it is enough to know some people and have some nice conversation with them. For the closer or stronger relationship, it will come out later. I think it will come out naturally as time goes by. Don't you agree if I say that we need at least one year to get to know each other. 

Well that's quite a lot to say, in the end I just want to make myself believe that I'm doing just okay; just know some people and not really make any 'friends', just yet. 

Other than make friends, some articles suggest that we should join some communities, and I think it is quiet enough for me to join one community here that I take part regularly. I'm joining pengajian around twice a week in the nearest mosque from where I live, and it's already give me sense of 'oh I belong here'. And also I would like to tell the stories of my team teaching, even though it's not so long we met each other. They are so nice to me and I'm really grateful for that. 

2. Find hobbies

Another thing that I should consider when living alone is, I should find some hobbies. That is exactly what I'm doing now, I'm trying to navigate my emotions by writing it all down and I think I will post it on my blog. As for reading I haven't got back into it  because my days were so hectic. I had to join like a full week of training and that drained my energy a lot. For this second week of working, I am still trying to finish a lot of stuffs related to work, but I hope I will get used to it and get back to do my hobbies anytime soon.

My plan is to finish three books I bring with me: "Yang Tak Kunjung Padam" by Soe Tjen Marching, "Sehari dalam hidup Abed Salama" by Nathan Thrall, and "Babel" by R. F. Kuang. I wish I can get back to reading and have joyful time with these books. Since I'm living in a new city, I hope I can visit some bookstores near here and the library, too!

**

Oh I'm really an adult now, living and figuring things out alone. Actually it's exciting and terrifying at the same time, my life is all mine now. I really want to end this writing with some emotional stuffs, but my brain is not working anymore, it's 9 p.m. and I need to get ready to sleep. Bye, have a nice life everyone! I wish us happiness and abundance in life. Be healthy and happy!

With love,
Nestya